What’s wrong with me?

Child of the Heavens
I’m taking a class on healing generational trauma and I feel like I’m doing it wrong.

How, you may ask, can you do a class on such an esoteric topic “wrong.”

Mostly I feel like I don’t fit in with the other people in the class. I listen to comments from the other participants and I don’t connect on an emotional level to what they’re saying. It’s a very nice, considerate group of people. Yet, I find myself feeling isolated and lonely as I listen.

None of the other participants sound lonely or frustrated.

When this happens I immediately wonder, “what’s wrong with me?”

This has come up for me in past workshops and classes as well. When I’ve mentioned my discomfort to the instructors, they usually said, “I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Everyone else is really loving the class!”

As you might imagine this reinforces my story that there is indeed something uniquely wrong with ME.

Fortunately, when I mentioned this to the instructor of the ancestral trauma class, she said that she too had experienced feelings of isolation and loneliness in classes. That this is something to examine and heal.

It was such a relief to hear this!

What if my feelings of disconnect wasn’t something wrong with me. What if it was something “right” with me? Something to appreciate?

Maybe I’m not the only one in the class who feels this way?

Maybe it isn’t about the class or the participants…it just happens to be a setting that evokes old hurts that want to be seen with compassion? That want to be healed and whole?

What if by giving ourselves compassion and appreciation we could find a greater sense of belonging and meaning in the world and our lives.

Wouldn’t that be something?

One thought on “What’s wrong with me?

  1. Hi, Judy
    I had an unusually dreadful day yesterday because of some miscommunications with my friend.
    Then I found your blog which brightened my evening.
    I had a feeling of isolation and loneliness when I took a five days training course in earlier June this year, I kept myself quiet as I didn’t feel like fitted in. Now I can see it as a learning opportunity for me as I do not want to create that kind of atmosphere when It’s my turn to lead any classes.
    Thank you, Judy for keeping up with your blog.

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