Putting Off Sending a Card – Baffled

This is weird.

I’ve been putting off sending a card to someone on my list for over a week.

There are a few reasons that feel rational. I don’t know her all that well, our time together has been brief, we’re more acquaintances than friends, she’s politically conservative, etc.

But none of these things are at the core of my reluctance.

Today I finally wrote and sent the card. I had to make myself stop thinking and just sat down and put pen to paper.

Once I begin writing, it gets a lot easier. It’s almost like the physical act of writing connects to what is in my heart.

But when I was writing the date and salutation, I felt so much fear, I felt numb and felt like I wasn’t in my body.

So I’m curious about why I would feel terror around doing something that is at the very worst going to be ignored by the recipient? What the heck is up with this?

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